Communication varies according to the audience. When I am speaking to my colleagues and suppliers, my verbal and nonverbal communication is professional. The communication is straightforward and to the point. There is little room for playfulness in conversation or demeanor. When I am communicating with my children, my words and actions are lighter but still strict and direct. We do joke around at times but my communication lets them know that I am mom and not a friend from school. I often see parents who are on the same level as their children and the discipline is lacking. I cannot judge them but I know what works in my household. When I am communicating with my friends, the laughs never end. I enjoy sharing my day and listening to them speak about theirs. We bounce complaints, advise on good and bad decisions, and talk about female topics in an informal way. All of my female friends hate sports and I am a sports fanatic. When I want to talk about sports or catch up on NCAA scores, I have to call one of my male friends. Of course, that conversation has to be strictly about sports because he could care less about boots, dresses and sandals.
One strategy I could use to communicate more effectively involves understanding verbal and nonverbal communication codes. Beebe, Beebe & Redmond (2011) suggest the ability to communicate effectively and appropriately depends whether you can understand each other’s verbal and nonverbal codes. With my colleagues, children, female and male friends I am able to adjust my communication and behavior suitable to the audience. My male friend is ready to slap high fives after a good sports play. When my female friends see me react to a sports game they think that I am crazy. My children know that when they play sports I will be in the stands screaming and yelling and they hate it. When it comes to sports I am very emotional. I would never react that way with my colleagues after closing a big deal with a supplier.
A second strategy is managing my identity. O’Hair & Wiemann (2012) suggest the choices we make in our communication behavior are determined by the way we want others to perceive us. I wouldn’t wear a business suit to a sports bar to watch the NCAA tournament nor would I wear a basketball jersey to a business meeting with a supplier. I most always know my role and dress and play the part.
A third strategy is learning not to stereotype. O’Hair and Wiemann (2012) state negative stereotypes make it easy to protect your own group’s attitudes and behaviors while abusing those of other people. I mentioned that I often see parents who do not discipline their children and they treat them as friends. My beliefs are different but I can’t judge or persuade others to believe as I do. One of my son’s friends talks to his mom in the most disrespectful way and she never says a word. But when he is at my house, he is always polite and courteous. I would love to pull him to the side and tell him that his treatment and attitude toward his mom is unacceptable. I would never do that because he and his mom may both feel offended. I must learn that everybody has different ways to discipline and accept that some are more lenient than mine.
References
Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. Chapter 2: “Perceiving the self and others” (pp. 42-46). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s
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